“When the intrusive thoughts I spoke about yesterday, enter my mind…there isn’t another body attached to their words. Which means the words are being manufactured by my own mind. My mind creates them because my heart feels them. And my heart feels them because my inner child fears them.”

“A lesson that I’ve struggled with for years is overcoming my fear of ‘public’ speaking. When I can’t avoid my speech…my mouth dries out, my body starts sweating and my heart races uncontrollably. These reactions developed in middle school and I’ll spare you yet another story about who lit that match.“

“My ability to detach is greater when I’m able to completely cut ties with all parties involved. It’s just easier to pretend they don’t exist when I don’t speak to them. Having to speak to my little sister makes it that much more difficult to completely walk away from the adult population of this bloodline.”

“And every time I attracted a man…my reality revolved around a lack of accountability, a need to be validated, an inability to accept that I qualified for who I attracted, and a commitment to blame all non implicating relationship issues on the other person.“

“The belief that no one wants to hear my voice was the initial seed…and that belief manifested itself in many different ways. I’ve spent the majority of my adult years attempting to uproot this system, but it seemed like the harder I fought to change my reality…the harder this spirit fought to keep me suspended in my voicelessness.”

“If there is any potential for my eyes to water…they flood. The first time I found out about my propensity to ‘make it rain’ was while watching The Green Mile. My mother took us all to the movies when it came out and I was the only one in our unit silently sobbing during 76% of it. I did my best to hide my tears because our ‘family’ doesn’t cry. But a rogue convulsion gave me away…”

“Unfortunately, I’ve never been sure when enough is enough in relationships. That’s because it takes a lot for me to open myself up to connecting with other souls. So when a real bond is established, I never want to disconnect. The disconnections often mimic death and I’ve never been a fan.”

“In my case, my womb donor ultimately assumed the role of psychiatrist…and prescribed me gaslighting. The dosage has been significantly increased over the years, depending on the amount of clarity I achieve. That clarity counteracts the medicine, so new versions of this tranquilizer have consistently been introduced.”

“…what’s really shown from these exchanges is that there are no consequences for bad behavior. And it would’ve never gotten this bad if those put in charge of calling the plays…had the ability to use their voices when someone under their command got ‘beside themselves’. Instead…they do what their parents did…allow life to teach lessons that they’re more than capable of giving. What a complete waste of wisdom.”

“I had the privilege of watching a real truth teller speak today. And the petty part of my mind wants this post to be solely about wagging my finger in the face of those who use the “mental health issues” of others as a way of escaping the opportunity to sit in the seat of accountability.”

“They do just enough to declare they’re doing nothing at all and it is infuriating. And because I’m the only one whose been diagnosed with a mental disorder…I’m assumed to be the one with the faulty interpretation.”

“Any feeling that’s consistently felt, develops ‘pscyhe muscles’. My fear has been training for many seasons. So much so that it effortlessly carries the ton of trauma that results from me consistently being led by trepidation.“

“Before my own struggle with breaking the will of my pride, I couldn’t even imagine a world where my behavior would be considered anything other than praise worthy. My emotional navigation was always set to ‘woe is me’ mode, in the event that anyone challenged my conduct.”

“Normally, I’m too emotionally flustered to respond as a functional grown up. The communication that follows my unsteadiness is usually erratic and laced with the undertones of a temper tantrum. But now that I’m settling more into my villain era, I’m able to refrain from puffing my chest out.”

“My services were required and while serving, I was walking on landmines purposefully set in my path…daily. When said landmines exploded, I was told I should’ve watched where I was going. Yea, no.”

“It’s taken me three days to open my laptop. My two previous attempts at seeing this project to completion both ended like this. I always start up around November and never seem to make it past January.”

“For as long as I’ve lived, no one has been able to get under my skin like my twin. She knows me more than I care to give her credit for. So when she shoots her shots…it hits me every time. Vice Versa.”

“I know I’m of sound mind. But I also know that some of my beliefs go against the belief system that my family was indoctrinated into. So sharing my views, without a buffer, gave a strong impression that I was emotionally impaired.”

“Before the chats, I accepted what they told me I was seeing. And now that it’s uncomfortably obvious that they aren’t able to refocus my corrected vision, they’ve dedicated their time to refocusing the vision of the kids they’re keeping me from.”