“I’ve noticed that most men can’t acknowledge their childhood trauma. Which makes their aggression, towards the women they date, passive. Because they were never allowed to voice past hurt to their mothers. So they grow up manifesting Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny type relationships. The women they choose become the targets they can never hit because we’re the symptom…not the root cause of pain. If Elmer was a love interest of mine, I’d tell him that his refusal to stop shooting blanks…is a direct result of his inability to hit the button of accountability on his mom. And until he has the hard conversations with her…he’ll continue to attract perceived betrayals that mimic the ones he was never given permission to address in his childhood.”

“Atp, my flawed existence has humbled me enough to accept that even though I’m gifted…i’M nOt bETtEr tHAn aNYoNe. And when I forget…God reminds me. Which is why I get so annoyed when I people watch individuals who serve a different god. Because they possess the freedom to be obnoxiously arrogant. I refer to them as MBA holders because…they have Motion By Association. This association can be to people, possessions, organizations, etc. Anything that allows them to forget who they really are on the inside…without outside influence. Most of them lack actual talent and the way they obtained their degree…is usually surrounded by their sacrifice of innocent souls.”

“I love my advice…until I’m the one that has to take it because it’s invaluable…but inconvenient. I know I write from a high horse perspective in most of my posts but in all honesty…I know human behavior so well that when I want to do some slick sh!t…I can hide it behind good intentions with a straight face. But now that I’m dealing with a twin flame…I’m being shown how it feels to parlay with someone like me. Unbelievably unfair. So yesterday when I told half the truth about an ex energy I don’t want back…I should’ve known the ricochet was coming. Because I left out the half that implicates an eye that still wanders. And even though I’m wrong…I still need that.”

“I had to reach out to my ex’s mom. I remembered a family member of his has access to systems that peek through privacy…by way of his employment. Which is how he got my number. And because he was still calling me from random lines…I snitched. I let his mom know and she told me to keep blocking him like most of their family does because…“He’s still crazy.” Nothing about that relationship made me want to deliver support to this ex. But because I know how he was parented…I replied telling her he’s not crazy…he just doesn’t know how to process his childhood trauma. I told her my family is just like theirs, said I hope they can all heal together and blocked her too. Because accountability avoidance is still a trigger for me.”

“Soooo…I locked myself out my car this weekend. In the 10 years that I’ve had my car…this has never happened. ………..Fortunately, I didn’t completely close my door so there was enough space to use a wire hanger…that I didn’t have. After finding a yard sign from the business I was at, I took it apart and used the metal prongs. 45 minutes in, I had to find my peace by talking to God. And I was two seconds into playing victim, when He reminded me that my perspective is what k!lls my peace. So the test was to see if I’d default back to what doesn’t serve me. Right after our ‘talk’, I felt guided to work the prongs from a different angle and…the right button got pressed.”

“Arrogance and infidelity go hand in hand. And most people who cheat…are so self-involved…that they actually believe the person they cheat with…wants them. But if someone knows you’re in a relationship…200 times out of 10…they want the privilege of being able to feel like they got one up on your spouse. Women compete with each other this way and men do the same. If more people realized that they’re actually pawns…and not players…a lot of heartache could be avoided. Especially since getting the upper hand isn’t even the real goal. Spiritually speaking: Attaching a soul tie to your partner, by way of you, is. So being the portal or the phallus used for this energy harvesting isn’t a flex. Because…‘It’s not you, it’s me’.”

“The overall consensus is that her man is cOnTRoLLinG for wanting to see her without a painted face filter and…I’m trying to understand the issue. But I can’t because the real issue is insecurity. Most of us weren’t shown how to love our reality so the new norm is to overcompensate by wearing someone else’s face, hair, body and personality…while expecting who we are to be loved by a man. Natural girls have problems attracting authentic connections too though. Which is why self-love is so important to us. Because learning how to lay up, with or without a teammate, prevents the desire to alter who you are…just to be accepted by everyone else…but you.”

“Today’s the new moon…and Mercury is Retrograde. Which means rituals are being performed and our past is coming back around to see if we’ve learned from it. My ‘family’ played their role and triggered tf out of me today but I couldn’t find my anger. I found my way back to the group chat though. But I was unbothered in my texts because now I know how valuable my energy is. It’s crazy how we rarely learn the worth of our energy…but we’re all taught to worship money. Even though most riCh people can’t even afford peace. I finally found mine and the influx of triggers is my confirmation that this is the point no one wanted me to reach. Because now that I’m calm enough to see how hungry people are for my energy…I’m the one in feast mode.”

“I’ve never been the kind of woman who gives up easily on people I love. Which is why I spent almost 5 very long years trying to get my ‘family’ to see that the way we process our trauma is toxic. It was always my intention for us to heal after having this uncomfortable conversation because I never wanted to know what life was like without them. But narcissists can’t be negotiated with. You either bend to their will or suffer the consequences of choosing not to. Learning to live without them took a minute for me to do because loyalty is coded in my DNA. Learning how to be loyal to myself, first, was the lesson though. So now I approach life with the understanding that it doesn’t matter who you are…if my peace is disturbed by your presence…ion want it.”

“I used to compare my life to The Truman Show because the energies in my environment always seem obsessed with keeping tabs on me. A situation took place this past Sunday that validated my suspicions of being tracked and God put me in position to catch it on camera. After getting that validation…I’m now seeing my life as Stanley Milgram’s obedience experiment. Because the souls assigned to drive me past the brink of insanity…did so even though they knew how much trauma they were inflicting on me. Now it feels like God gave me the ability to seamlessly articulate my pain…just so I could give these souls the opportunity to choose to either add to it…or remove themselves in order to help facilitate my peace. But…majority chose to go on an ego trip.”

“DATiNg is interesting because there’s so many unhealed people attempting to do it…while pretending that their trauma doesn’t exist. Which is why I usually attract someone who, to avoid getting hurt, keeps someone else waiting patiently in their outfield…that’s thirsting for a chance to catch some balls. And what I realized is…there’s two types of women in this world. Home runs and walks. One requires skill and precision to get…while the other is handed out with no effort on the hitters part. If more women understood our place on this totem pole, there’d be a lot less one sided competitions. Initiated by women too insecure to see that getting the man isn’t goals. Keeping your self-respect is.”

“…Unfortunately, a lot of people mistake love with convenience. And as long as benefits come from the experience…they’re in it. But real love can’t be switched on and off because it’s felt on a ‘soulular’ level. To the point that if you’re spiritually in tune with your physical body and that love is ever jeopardized…you feel a sensation in the center of your chest. Because that’s where your heart chakra is. Love is about…action, so the words never really have to be said because the behavior it induces speaks for itself. It breeds a need to be protective of its recipient and it’d d!e before dishonoring itself. Most people like to think they’re in love…but they’re really just in love with the idea of somebody loving them. Lost puppy is what it’s giving.”

“Learning when to let go is one of the hardest lessons I’ve ever been given. Because letting go too soon leaves you with unanswered what ifs and letting go too late leaves you with retaliation reflexes. I’ve done both and the only truism is…when trust is breached AFTER commitment is established…it’s never too early and it’s always too late. Staying with someone you can’t trust feels like a slow death because everything is a trigger. But leaving someone you love feels like su!c!de because you’re detaching yourself from your soul..mate. And having to sit with the knowing that I’m the reason someone has to make either one of these decisions feels like earned torture…because either way it goes…I’m at the heart of that loss…with no way of running back the clock.”

“Watching Mrs. Petty give the people what they asked for…while shining a light on a 'familial' situation similar to mine…has me missing the old me. Iykyk. Especially since my ‘family’ is still trying to trigger a manic reaction from me and almost got one yesterday. But now that it’s beyond obvious that this is what they want…I’m dangling carrots in front of these hoes. Because narcissistic supply is a real thing. Which is why narcs act out of desperation when they lose their target because that’s where they get their confidence. Their supply is used as a substitute for real self-esteem and in the absence of that energy…their karmic cloak is removed.”

“I know the impact my words have…but it took me a while to figure out how to use my vocabulary. Especially when I’m in my feelings. After years of trial and error…I finally figured out the trick. If I can use the toxicity of my words, when I speak from anger, in a way that can double as guidance…I can say them. So lately…I’ve been learning how to phonetically play with prey that I plan on eating later…for educational purposes. This was harder for me to do back when my diAGnoSis allowed me to lead with my emotions. But the more I connect with the power I possess…the more I accept that it was never contingent on a diagnosis. God designed it to be used at the discretion of my free will…so He could judge me accordingly.”

“It’s the way all the plans changed after I stopped pretending not to see what I see. This morning my sister text me to ask if she could drop my niece off and right after the drop off…she blocked me. I’ve gotten so used to these energetic syphoning sessions that I stayed calm and politely let the chat know all screenshots were going on FB. I hadn’t posted since January so they didn’t expect me to take that route and as soon as I did…the block was removed. I paused my petty so me and my niece could run through two amusement parks, and I almost forgot to go back to the chat to troll. By the time I remembered…I was too tired to crash out.”

“I realize this is a child but we don’t get new souls when we’re born. And the one she seems to have is…questionable. An incident took place at my niece’s birthday party that validated my intuition…and I thought that was going to be the end of her going around this family unsupervised. But because my ‘family’ consists of a bunch of b!tches with broomsticks…my niece looks like their next target. I know my energy is what they really want because history shows that they purposely present me with irrational situations…and count down the seconds until I explode. So instead of wasting time in the chat, telling them what they already know…I’m uploading it for a bunch of strangers to see…to encourage you to keep a closer eye on the kids in your own family.”

“I’m a Gemini…which means I’m an air sign…which means my gifts are attached to what you can feel…instead of what you can see. So I’m always deconstructing the way I think because…it can go over the head of some people if I don’t. Especially if you’re the type that focuses more on superficiality because people with that focal point only desire to see things at face value. What’s underneath their mask is hard to look at so they take pride in presenting images that are real…fake. Because in order to sell yourself as picture perfect, most have to turn into sharecroppers who discard their ugly parts…just so they can share the sides of themselves that’ve been heavily modified. Tragic.”

“The issue with that is…when I feel what I feel…I usually say too much. And saying all the things before I’ve had a chance to allow logic to proofread my thoughts…always ends with me asking God for forgiveness. After so many times of repeating the same miSTaKe…God makes me feel the weight of my reckless response so that I know He’s done playing with me. When this happens, He makes sure I see the part I played in the situation and when I do…He allows me to choose whether or not to take it further than I already have. If I do…He rewards me with tough love. If I don’t…He rewards me with peace.”