“The holiday season is officially over…and I managed not to let the Gang Goofy Trigger Tradition take me back to the chat. This is the first year I didn’t have a rage rant from my inability to speak to my niece. So I’m not surprised I got a truce text today…that was meant to loosen the grip I have on their necks. It was an “I miss u” text from my niece…but it came from her mom’s phone. Which let me know a hand was about to be out. School is starting back, so my sister needs my focus on the unconditional love I have for her child…and off the fact that they used this child in another failed psyche sacrifice on me. Atp I’m annoyed, so I replied and said what I just wrote. And…she added herself to my list of non responders.”

“I got in trouble. Bbbbbbbbut I didn’t do anything! The hall monitors refuse to reply to leasing’s email, requesting a written response saying they diDN’t witness the maintenance weirdo entering my unit…and I got upset. The manager doesn’t seem to have a grasp on the situation so…I made a neon note saying: “Respond To Your Email” and put it on my front door. I may or may not have called them “liars” when I walked past their camera and now alllllll of a sudden…I’m being accused of harassing them! Leasing emailed me today and threatened to terminate MY lease if MY behavior continues. The colonizer Karens even showed them the video…but couldn’t manage to respond “yes or no” to the email. Unf***ingbelievable.”

“Before a few years ago, I never saw myself as someone who was worth destiny swapping with. I’ve never had what this world says you should have to be seen as successful…and I’ve never had the desire to pretend I do. Which is why it’s weird to me when wom…females, who appear to have so much more than me, still see me as competition. This used to irk tf out of me…until I looked at it from a non-imposter perspective. Because this world will convince you that seeing is believing. But my gifts are felt. So it doesn’t matter what my life looks like on the outside…because my energy is encrypted with Divinity. And to souls who only possess the ability to be the artificial version of that…I’m a gold mine.”

“Knowing when to move on from what no longer feeds my soul is a skill…that I haven’t fully mastered yet. It’s been hard because my attachments can give the illusion of attraction. And my codependency to that course of chaos is addictive. My appetite for these emotionally avoidant entrees…keeps me going back to eat at tables that don’t fulfill me. Even though it feels like I’m eating fast food…that was made out of convenience. But my desire to feast off of what feels familiar…has me craving what I know isn’t good for me. By the time I finally decide to change my diet…I’m weighed down from all the empty calories. Which forces me to go within and find the…gems…of wisdom, that’ll help me make better decisions in the future.”

“The majority of the Bible is a blur to me. But I remember learning about the temptation that took place…in that garden. As a child, I didn’t get the metaphor. As an adult…I understand why her intuition guided her to bite the apple. Because that was the only way for her to gain entry into the portal of self-discovery. Being a biter helped remove the fog of fantasy from her perspective. And it exposed the part of the subconscious that gets blocked…when life feels like the stage of a honeymoon. I would’ve done the same because I have a habit of getting lost in what I wish my reality looked like. Accepting what is…gives me access to coping mechanisms…that keep me present enough…for the pain of my awareness to serve its purpose though.”

“The worst part about all the toxic trophies I’ve collected from these Ickleball tournaments is…I don’t get to go back in time and bow out gracefully. I can’t unsay the hateful things I’ve said, to the people I actually care about. Which makes my wins feel like losses. Going back and forth used to be fun because…I’m better at paddling pettiness. But the pRiZE costs me my peace so…ion feel like playing right now. Tossing around our trauma in order to prove this point is out too. Because all that does is put my weaknesses on display…for the benchwarmers. So securing another empty win feels…unsmart. Especially since I’m pushing 40…and can no longer blame my desire to play these goofy a** games…on my youth.”

“I’m in the middle of a custody battle…to be the soul caregiver of my inner child. These holiday rituals are meant to uproot us…and make her feel like she doesn’t have a stable home. So this ongoing Xmas trigger from my ‘family’, is just another attempt to displace us. They expect me to clip all these years of chaos together...and upload them into the perfect manic magazine. But maintaining residence with my right state of mind…means I can’t keep shooting up the chat…to get my issue. Which is forcing me to close my book of reads…and digest their dysfunction. Because piercing the emotional stability of my adult targets…who have actual children depending on that foundation…would make me lose my case.”

“I love how Christmas brings out the worst in my ‘family’. So it’s not surprising that I got into it with my go-to goofy today. And right before I said words that would’ve caused irreversible emotional damage…I left the chat to lay up with my peace of mind. Because I know she was intentionally crafting the conversation, in a way that would invoke the worst out of me. I’ve had enough practice with these draining days to know…that they need me to crash out…to stop my headlights from exposing the trauma they traffick. Which is why they’ve exhausted so many resources…studying how to turn mine off. Time gave them the opportunity to learn themselves instead. But they choose to waste all of it…failing at sacrificing my psyche.”

“I put myself on a fast from my dysfunction, to avoid feeling what I feel…until I’m ready to process it. But my brain is always trying to auto-correct its chaos…so I’ve been dissecting my introduction to trauma all day. And I realized that its access to my mind…was forcibly gained. Just so it could turn around and rearrange my mental, in ways that made me feel like it was the actual owner of my psychological property. Eventually, its toxicity attracted other energies to me…to build bOnDS with. Because those bonds always redirect my attention away from outgrowing it. Then, I’d become so busy creating space for that person’s trauma…that I’d ignore the fact that their sole purpose…was to finesse me out of my emotional foundation. So am I fasting or not? …Get tf out.”

“I’ve been taking a break from the chat lately…but I went back a couple days ago. I wanted to express my frustration with spending another Xmas excommunicated…for telling them the truth. Which had me thinking about how unheard their seeds must feel. Because the adults still move like their happiness comes before their children’s…to this day. And it seems like they’re only happy…when their self-serving behavior isn’t being called out. So I intentionally make it clear…that they made the final judgement of sentencing all these kids to life on Earth. My toxic transparency doesn’t really help. But it allows me to call out their shapeshifting abilities…that lets them morph into mute buttons…whenever they don’t want to address what makes them uncomfortable.”

“The corporate cun…lady went quiet after I asked them to check the new hall monitor’s ring camera. Leasing finally called and said the neighbors checked…but saw nothing. Which means the appliance that initiated the entry, magically repaired itself…and the email was a miSCoMmUniCAtiOn. I almost got mad…until I realized that 3D drama is only sent to me…when I’m being spiritually spanked. So I tried to source similar situations that I haven’t taken accountability for and…I’m the reason. Because I’ve violated a couple people in the past…in ways that they’ll never be able to prove. And I went on with my life, acting like it never happened. After acknowledging that…I made peace with God returning the favor.”

“It looks like there’s a reputation rebranding ritual going on right now. I think the intention is to reshape our perception of certain cultural archetypes and…I want to see the good in it. But it’s only happening…because light workers passed all the humiliation rituals, meant to cement our silence. Which is allowing us to effectively shine that light on what was intentionally hidden…by the false profits…who spoke out of turn in our absence. So now we’re seeing outside cat transforming into inside kitty…and goons graduating into good guys. The effect this will have on the easily influenced is a step in the right direction. Unfortunately, most of them already ruined their lives…buying into the pushing puss/prison propaganda.”

“Last week I finally caught the maintenance guy purposely waiting for me to leave…before snaking and entering into my unit. And this time…everyone told on themselves. The only proof I had was my intuition. But when I brought it to the attention of the leasing office, via email, their reply confirmed my suspicion. Which led to a call today, that I recorded, from corporate…attempting to convince me that the leasing lady must’ve misspoken. The talk went nowhere and after it ended…all the documented details I’ve collected over the years came to mind. So I emailed my gangstalked guidebook…and smiled. Because it’s looking more and more like God is ready to reveal the hands of the Gang Goofies…one palm at a time.”

“Online soul shopping is a hobby of mine. Because what’s shown in person…is rarely ever all there is to see. Studying behavior is still my first love, so soul searching through my screen works for me. Some souls I watch have created public images that seem authentic. But the longer I watch them…the clearer it becomes that this imagery is just a photoshopped persona. Unfortunately, most of us have been conditioned to only believe in what we see. So a lot is overlooked on the basis of kept up appearances. Spiritually speaking, this is a type of glamour magik. And falling under its spell used to be easy for me to do. Until looking beneath surfaces revealed some empty carts…that forced me to check tf out.”

“It’s taken me three blog attempts to maintain my mental state enough to keep writing on a daily basis. I quit the first two times because I let in too many outside energies. The stress of dealing with the purposeful pressure they passed off was too much…and I submitted to the weakness being projected onto me. This time I’ve been consistently alchemizing it. Because I finally realized that no one is coming to save me. It’s ultimately up to me whether I abandon this body of work again…or continue guarding its frame of mind. And maintaining my alignment enough to choose wisely can only happen, if I distance myself from energies who try to find cracks in my defenses…just so they can use them to tear down my sense of security.”

“I love how my intuition warns me about future threats to the emotional foundation I stand on. And I hate how I ignore its warnings…when I don’t want to accept the structural damage that awaits me. My denial creates the kind of delusion that makes me feel like the inevitable is avoidable. But that delusion births the kind of energetic pressure…that forces a release of whatever God wants me to part ways with. Right now I’m experiencing the fall out from not separating myself from an energy who did regular rage bait rituals…that were meant to shake my sanity. Knowing the who, what and why helped me brace for impact…but I never knew the when. Which didn’t really matter…because I refused to come to terms with the fact that this was actually happening.”

“My inside voice(s) have their own identity. But they all merge together as one when they want me to make my mind up on a situation. I’m a free thinker, so I try not to tie myself to their mob mentality. This rebellion usually causes something outside myself to give my nervous system anxiety…and I’m eventually forced to face the mirror I keep deflecting. So after a text tussle with my sister earlier…my insiders showed me my hypocrisy, by having me give her the advice they’ve been begging me to take. I told her a truth and her response was that I was ‘trying to make her feel bad’. And I replied that ‘feeling bad meant she was in denial’…but ‘acceptance would finally make her change some sh*t’. Because crying over…hurt feelings…changes nothing.”

“It’s some things from the past that deserve to be kept in rotation because…they add value to the present. But there are others that reserve the right to be memorialized as vintage memories. Rotary phones came to the front of my mind earlier and I was trying to picture this outdated technology…campaigning to compete with what’s currently trending. I couldn’t tho. That thought led me to thinking about my old style of written communication…in comparison to the way I convey my points now. And the growth is giving. Because I used to go in circles…trying my hardest to connect the dots in ways that would be well-received. Now I’m effortlessly tap dancing on tops.”

“The voices in my head talk to me all the time. Sometimes they relay spiritual downloads…other times they just want to be heard. For the last couple weeks, one of them has been sporadically saying the name Topanga. I used to watch Boy Meets World when I was younger, but I didn’t remember all the details of her character. So I started binge watching clips from the show…and fell in love with everything she represented. Rewatching it reminded me why it’s so important to market individuality. Irrespective of how painful going against the crowd can be. Because most of our culture has been conditioned to allow institutionalized influencers to think for them…just to avoid drawing attention to the fact that they have a mind of their own.”

“I just heard about a gangstalked individual…succumbing to the pressures of that program, by taking someone’s life. And her villain origin story sounds a lot like what I’ve been writing about. Her experience helped validate my belief that giving life to this artificially inseminated psychosis…always leads to a dead end. When my Gang Goofies first started preying on my mental…it confused tf out of me. Especially since my whole life had been filled with them trying to reinforce my insignificance. Which is why I’m so appreciative of the new initiates who seem to be going out their way to get a reaction. Because paying this much attention to me…helps maintain the glitches in my matrix.”