Never wrong…just always early…
I don’t think I’ve experienced a feeling better…than the one I get from being right. Writing that out loud feels wrong, since I’m trying to embody human humility. But intuition is supernatural so…it is what it isn’t. Before I ever knew what intuition was, I read right through people. Which is why I have such a hard time connecting with most of the souls I encounter. Because I unintentionally reveal things about them…that I’m not supposed to know. And I never know what that thing is, until I start seeing a shift in that person’s behavior…that suggests I’ve exposed a secret about them…that they thought no one would ever find out.
I’ve had enough experience with accidentally exposing souls, to recognize the behavioral patterns of the exposed. Because they always cry wolf…whenever my intuition reveals their truth. Gaslighting is ALWAYS the initial reaction. And if that doesn’t pacify their ego…they resort to DARVO distractions, that allow them to villainize me…so they can comfortably play victim. Which usually works…until the truth eventually reveals itself. Waiting out the lie has been one of THE MOST painful pastimes I’ve ever participated in. Since it’s my word that’s in question…until God decides to validate them with Divine Timing. By the time that happens, my “I told you so’s” never feel right……………..being left unsaid.
My first memory of this hurry up and wait grift…is from my teens. I never understood why my BM (biological mother) was so bothered by my opinion of our ‘family’ dynamics. Until I grew up and realized I was calling out generational curses, that had gone unchallenged for decades. Unfortunately, they had me diagnosed at 15. So no matter how much sense I made when I intentionally started pulling off masks, in my 30’s, no one believed me after my BM blamed my behavior on my bipolarism. It took me a while to give up on trying to prove her wrong. But as soon as I did…they lost their scapegoat. And that prevented them from pretending I was the problem. Because their behavior towards me, that I was called “crazy” for speaking on…continued being displayed towards each other.
Love,
Choosy
