RoastGuard
Ion bother people. Mainly because I don’t like being bothered…and I’m never knowing how someone will respond to being provoked. So I mind my business with the expectation of other people doing the same. But for whatever reason, I attract souls that look for ways to test the waters…by crossing my boundaries. Which puts me in a position of having to protect my territory, by trolling tf out of whoever thought I wouldn’t catch the subs being smuggled through.
The win wasn’t worth the pRiZe…
Ion bother people. Mainly because I don’t like being bothered…and I’m never knowing how someone will respond to being provoked. So I mind my business with the expectation of other people doing the same. But for whatever reason, I attract souls that look for ways to test the waters…by crossing my boundaries. Which puts me in a position of having to protect my territory, by trolling tf out of whoever thought I wouldn’t catch the subs being smuggled through. And because I used to excel in being extra…I didn’t stop…until I saw signs of complete submission.
I’ve been accused of going too far with my over-reactions in the past…and present. But I don’t understand why people expect for me to be the bigger person…when dealing with people old enough to know better. Especially since I’m accused of living up to my diagnosis if I do too much…and if I don’t do enough. So sympathy is something I intentionally lack…when reestablishing lines in my life that shouldn’t be crossed. Unfortunately, God holds me to a certain standard. So when I sink below the threshold of His temperament…I’m reminded that His silence didn’t mean He was in agreement with my sadistic behavior.
I’m facing God’s wrath right now. But if I’m being honest…it’s just tough love. Since I went against the guidance He gave me to remain humble…even when I had every right to pop my sh!t. My decision to slow roast a soul that I felt was infringing on space that they accessed…by pretending to be me, has now jeopardized the authority that comes with my (spiritual) rank. And it’s my reminder that He’ll waste no time humbling me, when I start allowing myself to be led by pride. So I’m choosing to face the consequences that come with thinking that His still waters don’t run deep…in silence.
XOXO,
Choosy
CollaredGreen
‘Trusting the process’ of anything that takes longer than a few minutes…irritates tf out of me. But some situations require a slow-cook consciousness…in order for all the essence of God’s intent to reveal itself. And pRoCEsSiNg the soul I’m tied to…that forces me to outgrow behavior that no longer serves me…currently has me in a chokehold. Since I spent so many years attached to the freedom that comes with running off with my emotions, whenever I get in my feelings.
Soul food…
‘Trusting the process’ of anything that takes longer than a few minutes…irritates tf out of me. But some situations require a slow-cook consciousness…in order for all the essence of God’s intent to reveal itself. And pRoCEsSiNg the soul I’m tied to…that forces me to outgrow behavior that no longer serves me…currently has me in a chokehold. Since I spent so many years attached to the freedom that comes with running off with my emotions, whenever I get in my feelings. So being leashed to the restrictiveness of self-control never appealed to me, until I was shown how emotionally expansive…collaring my chaos can be.
Saying whatever came to my mind used to work for me, when I was actively pretending not to know how easy it is for me to emotionally cripple someone. But that approach doesn’t work on an identical soul, who possesses the ability to make me feel…exactly how I make them feel. When we first synced, I wasted a lot of time calling out how black the kettle was that he kept cooking me in. Because acknowledging that all his heat…was just a response to my response…of his response…to my response…never crossed my mind as logical. Playing victim to the circumstances my behavior created felt better…so I pulled away anytime his behavior held me accountable for mine. (And Vice Versa cause…yeah.)
It took a minute for me to understand the concept of consideration. I had a certain level of entitlement that prevented me from allowing myself to be led…by anything other than my pride. So sharing space with a soul that refuses to let me get away……………with disrespect, required a lot of time and patience. In the beginning, I didn’t want to see how much I needed him……………….to get me to my next level. I was comfortable stopping conversations that made me uncomfortable and walking away completely, before/after I returned the favor. So being led through the green lights of my discomfort, by someone I trust to reflect my truth back to me…even when it hurts…is the best way for someone like me to achieve actual growth.
Love,
Choosy
WrapSheet
Some would hear this and label me a liability. But those are the individuals who have to pass off accountability that belongs to them, onto someone who exposes how little they possess. So they charge me for offenses they commit…in order to avoid wasting time on sentences they don’t have the capacity to complete. These are the energies who are more than capable of saying all the ‘I’s’…until that letter needs to be followed by ‘apologize’.
I’ll never be innocent…if you’re guilty…
I’m a toxic person…to toxic people. Matching energy is my ministry, because it prophets me to pay back out what I’m given. Which is why I’m so comfortable dealing with people who mirror my behavioral patterns. Because my acceptance for who I am, makes it impossible for me to convict someone that reflects my recklessness right back to me. From the outside in, it can give gullible. Since I’m intentional with what I broadcast, about how I behave behind closed doors. But if you’ve experienced me on a level deeper than the surface, you know that I just do what you do…but better.
Some would hear this and label me a liability. But those are the individuals who have to pass off accountability that belongs to them, onto someone who exposes how little they possess. So they charge me for offenses they commit…in order to avoid wasting time on sentences they don’t have the capacity to complete. These are the energies who are more than capable of saying all the ‘I’s’…until that letter needs to be followed by ‘apologize’. Because an apology requires the kind of ability they don’t…*Class—please finish the sentence.* And when they meet someone who shows them where they’re lacking…their defense mechanisms force them to find the quickest escape route. To avoid looking at their own reflection.
I used to feel bad for intentionally caging myself into the codependence that comes with my chaotic connections. Until I realized this is how I figure out who’s worth sharing a cell with. IMO, the right one will see my behavior as motivation to lead us away from our addiction to avoiding the actual issue. And he’ll learn that if he ever sees toxic behavior in me, towards him, that causes discomfort…self-reflection makes more sense than forcing me to take the wrap…for the wrongdoing I’m 10/10 responding to. Doesn’t it make more sense to just communicate what I’m feeling? Absolutely not. Because I attract the kind of men that require feeling what they make me feel…in order for them to understand how it actually feels to experience it.
Love,
Choosy
KarmiCon
I can’t stress enough how much side quests are secretly competing with the main character…of whoever’s plate they’re trying to occupy. Men who entertain these ‘I can do withouts’…are always blinded by their ego. Which is why they’re incapable of seeing that it’s the woman they’re with…that’s the actual target of the birds who bait them into lapses in loyalty. Vice versa. Karmics cosplay energy that they’re incapable of producing, because they’re demonic by nature. Demons are derivatives of devils. And devils can’t create. They can only steal, kill and destroy. So attaching themselves to someone who has attached themselves to a source worth siphoning, is the closest they’ll get to their own personal bird feeder.
Repost—for the birds in the back.
Aggy on the sidelines is crazy…
I can’t stress enough how much side quests are secretly competing with the main character…of whoever’s plate they’re trying to occupy. Men who entertain these ‘I can do withouts’…are always blinded by their ego. Which is why they’re incapable of seeing that it’s the woman they’re with…that’s the actual target of the birds who bait them into lapses in loyalty. Vice versa. Karmics cosplay energy that they’re incapable of producing, because they’re demonic by nature. Demons are derivatives of devils. And devils can’t create. They can only steal, kill and destroy. So attaching themselves to someone who has attached themselves to a source worth siphoning, is the closest they’ll get to their own personal bird feeder.
Pride produces the type of psychosis that leads to these destructive levels of delusion. Which is why so many families have been broken up, over one or both parental figures possessing an abundance of it. I won’t say that all broken homes had solid foundations, built by divine souls. But the vows they took before God, is what designates that union with traces of divinity. And satanic souls who’ve been separated from their connection with their Creator…seek out whatever He has His hands on…for the sole purpose of tearing it apart. I attribute this behavior to an act of defiance, in an attempt to feel bigger than the program. Even though their place is inside of an energetic system, that could’ve only been created…by the same God they’re trying to get one up on.
Unfortunately, that logic is lost on karmics. Because they’re only capable of seeing through the lens of a leech. So they play whatever character they need to, to solidify their spot as an extra ssa person…who does the most…in order to have their fantasies of finessing their way to the head of someone else’s family table…come true. A sad fuck!ng life is what it’s giving. Most of these souls have sabotaged any chance of qualifying for their own happily ever after though. Accepting their fate and making the most out of whatever circumstances their life choices have earned them would make more sense. And if these individuals hadn’t detached from their God given discernment…they’d choose that option. But their actions will always reflect the fact that God is nowhere near them…as long as they continue to dilute their understanding, with their fantastical delusions of grandeur.
Love,
Choosy
CTE
A man who claims to have been raised by a mother who instilled morals, values and integrity in them...can't find comfort in being emotionally abusive to the women in his life. Because knowingly inflicting that type of mental distress...goes against what he claims to have been taught. But a man who was raised by a mother that failed to teach him how to regulate his emotions...is able to avoid the accountability that should come with his abuse.
Can’t Tolerate Entitlement…
A man who claims to have been raised by a mother who instilled morals, values and integrity in them...can't find comfort in being emotionally abusive to the women in his life. Because knowingly inflicting that type of mental distress...goes against what he claims to have been taught. But a man who was raised by a mother that failed to teach him how to regulate his emotions...is able to avoid the accountability that should come with his abuse.
This is usually possible in instances where there are no consequences for his actions, from the people in his environment. And the mother, responsible for his emotional instability, is usually his biggest enabler. Since she 9/10 views him as the husband she couldn't keep...or the husband she'll never have. So encouraging his abuse, by way of her refusal to hold him accountable for it, is her way of ensuring that he'll never have a productive relationship...outside of the one he has with her.
Son husbands usually avoid holding their mother accountable for their behavior as well. Because in order to do that, he would have to use the voice that she intentionally taught him not to use on her...in an effort for her to keep him tethered to her expectation of him acting just like her...by way of recognizing her maternal abuse...and enabling it through his refusal to hold her accountable.
Love,
Choosy