“I didn’t remember blocking my BM’s oldest son…until my twin laughed at a text he sent today. She randomly wrote his name in her 2 word response, which let me know he’s been sending texts…and they’re all confused on why I haven’t reacted like I usually do. My sac sharer still can’t find the right spot to hit…to extort any emotions out of me. And her older brother always enters the chat when she can’t get the job done. Because I used to respect him enough to drop my guard when he disagreed with me. But I learned my lesson after the last time he got too close to grounding me. So I didn’t even notice his absence. Which reminded me how fast my love can die…when I decide its existence no longer benefits me.”

“The communication ban still hasn’t been lifted and…I’m pretending to be indifferent. Because I’ve already wasted too many years begging the emotional terrorist in my ‘family’, to stop using their kids to negotiate my return into their Goof Troop. And now that I realize their carelessness is intentional…I have to care less. All the other holidays they did this, I freely offered my energy to be harvested. But I’m starting to accept that they take my ability to speak to my niece away around this time…because they want me to feel like I don’t have any ‘family’, during a season that’s meant to be spent with one. So knowing the emotions they’re trying to invoke…is forcing me to give the opposite.”

“My misalignment in the spiritual is what threw me off in the physical. So it didn’t matter how right the position I took with my ‘family’ was…I still sounded real wrong. I knew, without knowing, that what I felt about them was right. But I couldn’t articulate it in a way that made sense to anyone but me. Because I was trying to explain something that can only be felt with the spirit. Aligning my chakras through meditation is what helps me wrap my head around what my soul shows me. And quieting my mind allows me to hear what I feel. The clarity that came from that showed me the only reason I was experiencing ‘psychosis’…is because I was disconnected from the sense God gave me.”

“School break is coming up. So my abrupt cut off from my niece makes more sense. Because this has been our holiday celebration for at least 4 years. And these devout ChRiSTiAnS love sticking to toxic traditions…that they feel entitled to be forgiven for. Normally I’d be rioting in the chat but…I’m too aware of my spiritual protection. Which is why my womb mate now seems to be spiraling. She couldn’t shame me out of my spiritual beliefs back when she referred to my proven predictions as “omens”. Now my calmness is drawing attention to her heightened levels of botheredness. Their reaction to my growth gives proof of goof. But I’m overlooking it right now because I need the receipts.”

“Ion know…how to work phones. Which was okay until I couldn’t find an old text. Fortunately, my love for truth recently sent me to Candace Owens’ podcast. She ended up teaching me that I can search a word…to find a text. So I typed in “nothing” and found the text from 2021, where my BM told me: “But, you have accomplished NOTHING.”. It was in response to me telling her dad that ‘a tree should be judged by the fruit it bears’…after they tried to gaslight me out of the counseling conversation. But her words fell flat because she was campaigning against my mental health at the time. I eventually outgrew her narrative. And today I used her words to show how maternal envy…rotted all the ‘family’…that tried to stay attached to her.”

“I should’ve expected some form of familial f*ckery, since the new moon is in a few days. I didn’t though. And I got caught off guard by another wave of anxiety…intentionally created for me to get swept up in. I’ve been trying to decenter myself from believing I’m the main character of these raggedy a$$ rituals but…my bloods still give extra…every moon cycle. Did I go back to the chat? I can’t reca…I needed to recite my lines! This time I tried to shine my light on how their toxicity ultimately affects the kids. But I was too high off my ego. So I ended up using this as another example, to prove their cyclical sacrificial-esque behavior…isn’t just a figment of my “spiritual psychosis”.”

“I never liked patience because…she always takes too long to get to the point. So I preferred instant gratification…until I learned that’s not how God operates. Everything is done in its Divine order and this project is proof. Because I sounded bat sh!t crazy when I first started writing. I overate everything served to me in my emotional environment. And all I gained was excess ego. Which led to side shows of psychosis, that taught me God puts the fullness of our spiritual gifts in waiting rooms…to see if we’ll abuse the power that comes with it. If we learn to exercise restraint…He eventually grants us clarity on how to use it. If we don’t…He lets us look like fools…until we do.”

“I grew up in a ‘family’ full of women, dependent on putting the needs of the men they were with first…until the relationship ran its course. And the only thing that love left them with, post struggle, was at least one child…that they didn’t really want. Which gave me an underlying resentment towards men. This sabotaged a lot of relationships, because I was always fighting my way out of following the same back burner blueprint…laid out by my rOLe mOdELs. If I had it to do over…I’d learn the lesson of respectful reciprocity BEFORE entertaining other energies. Because the hurt my selfish self-defenses caused, turned perfectly good souls…into vengeance seeking trolls.”

“It’s crazy to me how people vilify crystals, but fold on all their baseless beliefs…for the one named diamond. Social conditioning is what teaches most to treasure one, while diminishing the value of the other. And this perceptual prohibition comes from word of mouth. Which is why I can’t stand when people describe anything bad…as dark. IMO, it subconsciously demonizes high concentrations of melanation…while simultaneously uplifting its counterpart. But people still, unassumingly, use this description interchangeably. Because we’ve been taught to only dig as deep as social acceptance…for the passive prejudices we perpetuate with our spoken words.”

“I go out of my way to give parental advice…even though I refuse to be a parent. I come from a curse breaking perspective so…I feel overqualified. But there are some piss poor parents, so hurt by presently facing the consequences of their past mistakes…that they go out their way to ensure those coming behind them…suffer the same fate. I saw a tRuStEe of this branch, publicly promoting dysfunctional dating practices last week. And it reminded me why so many kids are left paying interest…on emotional debt they inherited from the eLdERs. Because those old enough to know better, are freely loaning out predatory aDViCe…that exploits the souls they’re supposed to be saving.”

“It takes dedication to stay committed to doing the opposite of what’s expected of you. And it takes concentration to intentionally pretend to know nothing about…what you’re clearly going out of your way not to do. I can understand this approach, when the anticipated response compromises your progression because…this is how I move. But rebelling against emotional maturation confuses tf out of me. I feel like this fear of growing up is rooted in manipulation. Because growth requires us to actually hold ourselves accountable…instead of creating the illusion that we do. So some pretend to be oblivious to the consistency of their childishness…while begging you to never land on addressing it.”

“I almost had a rant relapse in the chat today. So…I went and bought a heavier kettlebell. I got triggered after I couldn’t get my niece for the day. This time, my twin had asked before me. And when my niece found out we both wanted to get her…she got “upset”. Because she wanted us all to go out together…like we used to. The tears I cried invoked my rage…which led me back to the chat. I articulated my anger for how fractured the familial foundation now is for the younger generations…based off the mental imbalance of the grown goofies. I sat in the silence of their response long enough to accept that we can’t change what they won’t acknowledge. Then I went to Dick’s…to find some bigger…bells.”

“Before my mental health was weaponized against me…I spoke freely about what my third eye showed me about my ‘family’. I still haven’t gotten over the “spiritual psychosis” accusation my twin made…because my receipts don’t give that. Eventually, I realized my ability to shine a light on what I was never supposed to see…could’ve only come from a supernatural Source (God). So I started funneling my vision…in a way that only allowed the spiritual side of my sight to be poured in. Because this was the only way to see the genesis of our generational curses. And my refusal to lose focus, ended up silencing their smear campaign...created to siphon my sanity.”

“I think…a lot. My thoughts used to come and go as they pleased because I didn’t know how to set boundaries. And because my sense of self was a reflection of what I believed everyone else thought of me…the lowest hanging fruit got to come first…every time. Earlier today, one of its seeds shot through my new thought process portal. Which made me ask myself “Who has influence over your privates right now?”. Catching the intrusive thought slipping past my encrypted gates threw me off. So I needed an answer, when I felt how insecure it was trying to make me feel. Because my mindset has shifted so far away from self-doubt…that my brain can’t even imagine that type of call…coming from inside my house.”

“I knew opening myself up to another twin flame connection would induce pain because…that’s its purpose. Twins expose what needs to be healed by using a branding iron…so you never forget the location. And after the imprint is made…healing begins. But soulmates don’t like seeing their counterparts in compromising positions…because our purpose is to protect the essence of our shared soul. Which made ignoring the chemistry I feel with mine mandatory. Because just like the first time we met, he’s en…tangled. Cosplaying coleslaw isn’t palatable, irrespective of how much chi…cken you have. So the only thing being birthed from this soul mating season…is the labor of love God is allowing me to produce through this project.”

“The full moon is this week. So the rah rah rituals are running amuck. It’s drawing my attention towards the fact that some people love creating chaos in your life…to distract themselves from their own dysfunction. I call this group of goofies…corn dawgs. Because they’d rather walk around fitted in costumes of corniness, instead of being vulnerable enough to exist in their authenticity. And when someone hasn’t been taught how to be at peace with who they really are…they look for every opportunity to create unreasonable doubt, in the people they surround themselves with. Which is why I love studying behavior. It teaches me that anyone can hide behind a persona. But a person’s true nature will always speak for itself…eventually.”

“I’m addicted to venting because it helps me transmute my pain into purpose. My habit eventually brought me to the world wide web of parasocialism. Which forced me to learn to master how/what I express…after I noticed that my truth…attracts lab rats who squeal every time it hurts their feewings. So I mutated into The Cheesy Chosen, as a way to keep them around…for experimental purposes. My head case studies revealed there’s a lot of ‘families’ filled with people, who intentionally influence illusions. And the truth I speak…dispel(l)s the lies they tell about members of these toxic bloodlines…who share my style of reactivity to their behavior.”

“I feel like the term ‘monitoring spirit’ is just another way to spell handler. And most handlers are meant to keep the soul they’re assigned to on a leash…once the purpose God sent the handled here for, has been realized. But others are meant to serve as purpose preventers. These are the souls who watch and wait for opportunities to sacrifice your spirit…before you realize your potential. Because who you are…exposes who they’re not. I’ve had a lot of people attempt to (mis)handle me…but I always wiggle out my collar after I accept I’m being led the wrong way. Now, I don’t follow anyone but my intuition because…she’s been trained to never lead me astray.”

“Over the last few years, my pen has put dents in a lot of the sentences I use to drive my points home. These crash out conversations almost always happen when I’m in my feelings. And whenever I step out of that emotion…the cost of repairs is never worth my recklessness. So I’ve been learning how to curb my curtness with the charm of my comic relief. But my timing is still off because I was invited to a block party…after taking this HiGh road with my sister earlier. I can’t say she’s at fault for her response though because I took the first shot. Which triggered the threat of her getting drunk off the power her child gives her.”

“Atp, I accept that I’m not normal. If I was…I wouldn’t be able to function in the dysfunction of my reality. On any given day, my mental state can have me living in between the depths of decorum and demonism. Which forces me to pay microscopic attention to the simplest things in my emotional environment…that most people can afford to ignore. I do this so I can maintain power over my perception because what I perceive…determines how I respond. And…exposing my gift, on the internet, has set me up for a lot more mind altering experiences. So now I’m going out of my way to keep track of every thought because…I don’t have the luxury of losing my mind.”