MindUrs

These thoughts were triggered by my inability to understand how people see something…and say nothing…

I make it a point to be in as many peoples business as my emotional state will allow. I’m nosey and I wouldn’t dream of being any other way. My type of nosey only focuses on situations that include some form of emotional abuse though. And feeling like I contribute to the exposure of this abuse is what drives my behavior. Most people who engage in emotional abuse aren’t aware that they’re exhibiting this behavior, because after a while it starts to look normal. I know this from experience…and I still partake occasionally. If my psyche picks up on it…I can’t not speak on what my mind sees. Which is why my ‘family’ doesn’t associate with me.

By speaking on what I see, I’ve forced them to either change their behavior…or double down on their right to engage in it. At this point, I’m sure we’re all aware that they chose the latter. I’m aware that change is one of the most uncomfortable things a person can make…if they’re comfortable in the situation they’re currently in. It prompts people to create all kinds of reasoning on why the change being requested should be overlooked. And the overwhelming unreasonable response I’ve received over the years, is the suggestion for me to ‘mind my own business’. I simply can not.

I’ve a hard time understanding what that phrase even means…when I consider it from the viewpoint of my ‘family’. Because they are my business. The kids who don’t have a voice that the adults will listen to, can’t speak up on their own behalf. And I was fortunate enough to go through the same trauma I’m trying to prevent them from experiencing. So why not use my voice? But most people prefer to stay quiet because speaking up comes with a lot of unwanted backlash. Which is why generational curses are so hard to break. They thrive in the silence of others.

If no one is shining a light on the behavior, those engaged in it can pretend there’s nothing to see. So the overlooked elephant in the room grows bigger with each new generation, until the family is no longer able to comfortably fit in the room…as a unit. I feel like this is the reason most families now opt out of holiday celebrations, more than in the past. Ignoring the elephant that everyone sees has become too uncomfortable. And speaking on its presence is even more uncomfortable than that. So the family get togethers are happening less and less.

‘Minding the business that pays you’ has become a popular saying over the last few years. To me, that fully embodies the type of society we live in. We’ve been conditioned to focus more on what serves us financially, as opposed to what serves us as a community. So speaking up about witnessing wrong being done to someone else, familial and ‘strangerial’, is now taboo. But remaining silent while holding up a money phone is normal. The irony. It makes no sense until I factor in who benefits from the silence. And the only people that stand to benefit from silencing uncomfortable truths…are people thriving in comfortable lies. I can wholeheartedly understand why the lie is more comfortable. Because when you start pulling at that thread…your whole life can be unravelled. Who would want that?

It feels better for the ego to be immersed in illusions. But no one tells you that those lies are killing your soul. And that it’s impossible to reach our highest potential if we’re unable to acknowledge the truth of our current reality. Unfortunately, seeing the truth requires us to be uncomfortable. Not many want to sign up for on purpose discomfort…which is why so many live make believe lives on the internet. Me included.

Love,

Choosy