"These satanic sentences were strung together right after I told her to get a job and right before she blocked me."

"There are some ‘women’, however, who purposefully mask the energy they carry…in order to trick others into believing they are who they aren’t. They specialize in adopting the persona of another woman in order to attract people, places, and things…which can also be seen as ‘destiny swapping’."

"My neck had a shingle-like outbreak, the size of a quarter, last year when I let my niece and little sister move into my shoebox. It was the first time I had ever experienced my body reacting to stress in that way and it was painful asf."

"Chileeeeeeee…I did it again. There is no easy way to say I have no self-respect because I would never want to admit something like that. But..."

"But I chose to make carrying all that weight look easy because I wanted to prove myself. Which is why they saw nothing wrong with allowing me to overextend myself. But I’m grateful for selective memory because now I suddenly remember the disorder they refuse to let me forget."

"I can’t be nice enough, self-sacrificing enough, or loving enough to be viewed differently in their eyes and at the end of the day…I have to accept that truth."

"At the root of the issue was my BM’s inability to tap into her emotions and nothing has changed…to this day. So I was labeled with a defect due to my mothers inability to acknowledge her own. Cold world."

"I can understand the desire to feel desired by your significant other but it feels like certain men have become comfortable residing in the feminine energy of requiring the women they desire to hunt them."

"And this pretty much sums up the year I’ve been reliving for 23 years. I get baited into having a manic reaction…and when I give the performance being requested…I’m gaslit into believing I’m the one that’s touched."

"The nurturer in me is trying to massage my inner masochist away by allowing the idea of failing to be an acceptable possibility. Up until now I’ve been dealing with the possibility of failure…by postponing my decision to try. That’s unbelievably unproductive."

"Instead of falling into the same trigger that would have given me the worthless satisfaction of calling my sister out for a behavior that is purposefully being displayed…I got to walk away with the dignity that comes from pulling my own strings."

"Today I pretended I’m happy still being single and unnaturally did the things these kinds of people do naturally…I took myself on a solo Day Date."

"I’ve had a headache for a few hours, I’ve had to stop myself from crying a few times today, and I’m muh fuhk** tied. I know I’m supposed to be finding the good in these situations but I don’t feel like it right now."

"And in that moment…I had to own my delusions of grandeur. I’ve been under the false impression that things will fall apart without my presence...when God knew that my absence is exactly what would help things come together."

"All this time, my motivation to keep this commitment came from the validation I thought I would feel when I saw evidence that people actually want to hear my story. The absence of eyeballs makes me feel like I lied to myself when I said God called me to do this. Because He doesn’t send people on dummy missions."

"The only thing I want more than my niece feeling comfortable enough to come to me for help…is for her not to need the kind of help she is unknowingly coming to me for. And that won’t happen if I keep playing along with this helpless hyena role my little sister is acting out."

"I had not one desire to outwit my twin today so I just let her have it. And she lost her damn mind. This girl could barely handle my refusal not to engage with her, but verbalizing my decision not to read any of the 7-10 texts that she sent…sent her."

"I can’t stress enough how much I hate having a lot of attention on me. It feels like all the voices in my head start frantically screaming in different languages at the same time and my main voice is trying to whisper over those voices…telling me to calm down."

“CAUTION: If discussions about spiritual practices induce ‘judgement jitters’ in you…please ask yourself if eating flesh and drinking blood sounds like some kind of ritual. Then ask yourself if your faith requires you to engage in behavior that imitates these acts. Then…leave your judgement, for what I’m about to type, outside…and take your shoes off too.”

“Every now and then I send an ‘a** clown’ text to my older brother and the mother of his children…just to take the edge off. I don’t think my words will get me any closer to reuniting with the ones I was intentionally disconnected from…but after 3 years…I don’t care to be the mature one.”