“I honestly used to think wearing someone else’s personality allowed me to become a better version of myself. And I thought this way for so long because the feedback I’d get, from those I imitated, reinforced this belief. I learned the quickest way to be liked was not by being myself…but by becoming whoever I was surrounded by.”

“As hard as it is for me to admit…I can’t fix anyone but myself. It would be nice if I possessed the ability to make my ‘family’ want to heal our generational curses but after 4 years of trying to pin the tail on these donkeys…I’m the only one left feeling like an ass.”

“But this world makes it so easy for me to blame my inability to control myself on everything but me. I can throw temper tantrums because I’m ‘bipolar’. I can emotionally abuse others because I have ‘trauma’. I can overspend because I’m trying to fill a ‘void’ And I can disregard my health because I’m ‘addicted’. So many convenient excuses that help me shift blame to everything but my lack of willpower.”

“So when my fear of being judged took me out of my element, I had to acknowledge that it wasn’t because I had a fear of being misunderstood…like I initially told myself. It was because I didn’t want to experience what my judgement made so many other people experience…being boxed into an idea that can’t be changed.”

“I realize I portray myself as the victim in the majority of these posts…and I try to balance that with owning my part played as much as I acknowledge the mistakes of others. No idea if this balance is weighing out.”

“My intuition was screaming for me not to send it but the hatred I felt for my sister’s spirit outweighed the love I have for a child that is the only innocent soul in this situation. I put my desire to one up evil before my requirement to love and right now I feel the fullness of my ongoing mistake.”

“I now know that even though we all have the ability to become a better version of ourselves…that has nothing to do with who we’ve been…and who we currently are. The people we attract will always embody a culmination of ‘all the things’.”

“Guilt is an emotion that lowers vibrations and from what I’m learning…new moons are portals. What you feel during this time is what sets the tone for what you experience the rest of the month. “

“I have to preface this by saying I don’t make it a habit of standing in awe of men who are spoken for…but an exception had to be made.”

“My heart goes out to individuals who box themselves into a socially acceptable image that’s literally unnatural to sustain. Because fitting into that box will always require the deletion of images that show others who God sees when He looks at you.”

“I know it would probably make more sense to focus on my own healing journey…but holding accountable those responsible for my need to be on this healing journey, is just as beneficial as any other form of shadow work.”

“My fear now is how many people will miss the message of my words because I say things that are meant to align with their souls and not with their ears. We’re a species that was taught to weigh our beliefs against what is socially acceptable and that is the template our ears hear from. But our spirits know that we’re just souls…inhabiting a vessel. And what our soul hears won’t always make sense to a belief system we inherited…from ‘elder’ vessels that were also indoctrinated with socially acceptable ideals.”

“…I had no intention of hitting that far below the belt but after a while, I no longer felt the need to protect her ego. I always feel an internal eruption right before I spit this insult out and my intuition usually tells me not to do it. But the satisfaction I know I’ll get, from being toxic, overrides my empathy and I say exactly what I know I shouldn’t. ”

“I can’t go back and change my decision to abort and if I’m being honest…I wouldn’t. So while I sit back…triggered by parents who use their children as statement pieces…I have to be humble enough to admit that I wouldn’t have these issues if I would’ve had my own.”

“I was the only one in the family who wasn’t extended an invitation to the funeral. I have to be honest and say that prior to his funeral…I did tell the chat I was going to show up wearing a t-shirt that stated “He died an adulterer”…but this was after I wasn’t invited. Was I out of line for saying what I said? I plead the seventh…(‘bipolar’).”

“So when I say I’ve been engaged in an abusive relationship with my ‘family’ for the last 4 years…there’s no trace of exaggeration in my words. Their intention is to (re)silence the voice I spent years fighting to get back because they know that when I use it…it renders them speechless. Telling the truth really does shame the devil(s).”

“One of the worst arguments my older brother and I ever got into was about his inability to give my 2nd oldest niece a hug after she experienced some bullying at school by a girl that she was convinced was her friend. My brother and I spent weeks arguing about it in the chat and to this day he has never as much as hinted at understanding why I felt a hug from him to his child was appropriate.”

“It would make sense for me to be happy that what I’ve been asking for all these years finally appears to be taking shape…but I’m nonsensical. If their behavior came before they assumed I was turning my pain into profit it would’ve been a lot easier for me to trust their intentions but these hoes aren’t slick.”

“I don’t know if my fixation of bonding with kids, through positive reinforcement, has anything to do with the guilt I feel from my three seed homicide…but I do know that pouring positivity into a child shouldn’t invoke the kind of envy I have seen from their ‘adults’.”