Stuck

So earlier when I contemplated whether this is as good as it gets…I just went numb with the thought that it is. I was driving while having this talk with myself and my numbness forced everything around me to disappear. I only saw what was in front of me and I lost my ability to perceive my environment. There was a certain level of ‘manufactured’ peace in that space, but it came at the expense of feeling like I wasn’t a part of this world. I haven’t decided whether this is a good or bad thing. But this version of peace will get me through tonight, so I’m not in a rush to figure that out.