RefleXtion

I don’t think I’ll ever get comfortable with having my toxicity mirrored back to me. The imagery feels unnecessarily aggressive and…it makes me uncomfortable. I want to say I immediately accept accountability when I see me staring back at myself but…I have strong redirection reflexes. So I find fault…in fault being found in me. And if what I see resembles a trait that I despise in either of my biologicals, I retaliate against the reflector. It’s a coping mechanism that’s immature…but effective. Because my happiness has been dependent on the desperation I have, for feeling like my adult behavior is better than theirs. But my mirror still isn’t giving that…so I find ways to break it. To avoid facing reality.