EmptyWin
These thoughts were triggered by the realization that when a narcissist is exposed…they disappear…(Screenshots below)
The ‘family’ race to the finish line of an empty victory…has finally run its course. For the last few years I’ve been screaming, to anyone who’ll listen, that my immediate ‘family’ has been conspiring to sacrifice me. The ultimate goal has seemed to be the complete deterioration of my mental health, which would either lead to my self-imposed death or the immobilization of my mind…which is still a death in itself. So the word ‘sacrifice’ fits. I’ve had all the receipts of their attempts in my phone, because I managed to keep the same iPhone 7…for the last 3 years. And even though the screen met its demise almost a year ago, by way of a freak accident, I’m still able to see through its cracked smile.
Earlier my intuition led me to scroll down through my text threads, and one of the threads I started last November caught my eye. In my opening text (that was so long my phone made it into a note), I spoke on how I was being kept from my nieces and nephews. A well known trigger of mine because I’ve developed a real bond with them. There was also a recent situation that took place around that time that involved me calling child protective services…so it was a very tense time. The text was sent 11/29/22 and I stated that a similar trigger was done around that time the year before. I’ve said several times that my family’s attempts to tamper with my mental state always ramp up around the holidays. And the proof was there for new group chat inductees to see because…I screenshot the proof and sent it.
This year, the triggers have increased ten fold. I’m carrying a lot more weight than I ever have, for my little sister… who is currently participating in the slander of my mental state. She’s currently without a car, so I’ve been assigned chauffeur to my niece for after school pick up. My ‘mother’ signed me up for this new job, even though she’s been very vocal about my mental ‘disease’. Eyes rolled. While doing this new job, I’m also still required to work my actual full time position. Which leaves little time for a personal life because the roundtrip to get her…etches a minimum of 3 hours out of my day. Buuuut I don’t have much of a life anyway, so it wasn’t too much of an adjustment. Even with the concessions I’ve consistently been making since school started, the trigger attempts from my ‘mothers’ maternal minions have not gone away…they’ve increased. And after rediscovering that thread..I was finally able to show this pattern of emotional abuse.
After sending the screen shotted proof…I wrote:
“The date on that is 11/29/22. Y’all increase these trigger attempts every year. And u also increase the amount of pressure put on me every time u do them. Why would a family who thinks I’m alone…and knows our ‘mother’ has been saying I’m bipolar…continue these attacks…around the holidays? Three years in a row? Inquiring minds.”
After that I sent a screenshot of a conversation my little brother and I had on 11/21/21. He sells life insurance and I purchased a policy from him a couple years before. He was reaching out to me to ask if I wanted to increase the amount I was insured for and told me how he could save me money by doing so. I declined. But I decided to send this old text to the group, to let them in on my conspiracy theory. I also work in insurance, so I know that there is always a two year clause on collecting death benefits, when suicide is the cause. This screen shot triggered a response from my twin because my conspiracy theories have always been her way in, when driving home her claims of my mental imbalance. I’m going to post the subsequent conversation. In this exchange, I exposed what I’ve been assuming is the plan to sacrifice me. And…my empty victory was handed to me because those participating in the ‘alleged’ plot…disappeared. It’s been over 24 hours…and those who spent the last few years going back and forth with me…are now silent. Still no talks on how to heal the family, so these kids don’t repeat our mistakes though. So…it was an empty win.
Love,
Choosy
